Are we connecting, yet?
I’ve been reading John Maxwell’s latest book ‘Everyone Communicates, Few Connect‘. Having worked in church before, I’ve had the privilege of attending his seminar and he had remained one of my favourites speakers/authors. Needless to say, I had read almost all his books. I am halfway through the new book now but I just can’t wait to share his 5 principles of connecting:
- Connecting increases your influence in every situation
“Connecting with others may not be a matter of life or death for most of us, but it often is a matter of success or failure…the further along in life we get, the more aware we become of the importance of connecting with others.”
2. Connecting is all about others
“If you want to connect with others, you have to get over yourself. You have to change the focus from inward to outward, off of yourself and onto others. And the great thing is you can do it. Anyone can. All it takes are the will to change your focus, the determination to follow through, and the acquisition of a handful of skills.”
3. Connecting goes beyond words
“What you are speaks so loudly that I can’t hear what you say.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
4. Connecting always requires energy
“I am not saying that you must be a high energy person to connect with others. Nor do you have to be an extrovert. You must simply be willing to use whatever energy you have to focus on others and reach out to them. It’s really a matter of choice.”
5. Connecting is more skill than natural talent
“If you want to be better communicator or a better leader, you can’t depend on dumb luck. You must learn to connect with others by making the most of whatever skills and experience you have.”
Of all the 5 principles, the last one spoke most strongly to me. I guess, far too often (alas!) we often attribute what we do poorly in to our personality traits. But I’ve come to realize that a lot boils down to how willing we are to step out of our comfort zone of ‘but-this-is-who-I-am’ and allow God to mould and shape us further into who He wants us to be.